Porn in Schools? A TVUSD Parent’s Perspective (Part 2 of 2)
Aaron Cook, Temecula
In Part 1, I responded to the false claims that TVUSD and CA curriculum guidelines contain inappropriate content for our kids. Based on my my experience as the father of four kids in TVUSD schools what is actually covered in the “controversial” guidelines is:
Age appropriate (nothing prior to 5th grade) sexual health education with parents access to all content and parents rights to opt their kids out if they choose.
Creating safe learning environments for all students
Learning about historically marginalized people
See Part 1 for more detail on each of those points. Outside the sex ed specific content, there is no sexual content in the state sanctioned TVUSD curriculum. However, some are falsely claiming these guidelines equate to teaching kids sex as young as kindergarten. Here, I will share some personal perspectives on why I don’t believe these educational aims are inappropriate, and in fact are part of a well rounded educational environment.
Does Creating a Safe Learning Environment or Learning About Historically Marginalized Individuals, Specifically Related to LGBTQ People, Equate to “Teaching Kids Sex”?
In all the above scenarios, while there is no intent to influence kids to be anything other than who they inherently are, there is an acknowledgment that LGBTQ people exist, which can be troubling to some. I know because I was once one of those people that was troubled by their existence. I grew up in (and am still part of) a socially conservative Christian church that teaches that homosexuality is a sin, and as a result, created a cultural environment that was hostile to LGBTQ people (even though I didn’t understand that until later). Over the years, a handful of experiences have changed my perspective on this. I have come to believe that acknowledging LGBTQ people’s existence, their rights as humans (and from my belief system, as brothers and sisters in Christ), helps us be better as a society, and in no way harms those of us who are not LGBTQ. Here’s some personal experiences and reflections on how I came to believe this:
We have more in common than not - While in college at a very conservative Christian university, a group called Soulforce came to my campus to protest what they perceived as discriminatory university policies against LGBTQ students. Because my school wouldn’t allow them to speak on campus, they organized a speaking engagement at the city park behind my apartment. Up to this point, I didn’t consider myself homophobic or prejudiced, but I did simply assume if a person was gay, they’d prefer not to go to my christian school, and I was a little annoyed that an outsider group would come to tell me I was a bigot. I couldn’t comprehend why any LGBTQ person would be upset by the school’s anti-gay policies. Curious enough to see what the commotion was about, I walked over to listen. I was surprised as I listened to multiple gay students and Christians talk about how they believed in the teachings of the church and wanted to be included at the church university where they could be surrounded by otherwise like-minded peers. I didn’t suddenly embrace LGBTQ equality, but I did start to see this issue outside the boundaries of my own experiences, which I believe has led me to a more Christian perspective of tolerance and love for those who are different than me. These are people who, deep down, want to be treated as equals and long for family connection, just like me. Who am I to say that if your family doesn’t look just like mine that you do not adhere to family values?
Coming to understand it is not a choice individuals make - around this time a podcaster I often listened to posed a question for those insisting identifying as LGBTQ is a choice. He simply asked, for me as a straight man, “when did I choose to be attracted to women?” The answer obvious to me is, I never did. As far back as I can remember, when I was a young kid in kindergarten, I had crushes on girls. With that self awareness, who am I to say that somebody else wasn’t inherently attracted to people of the same sex or gender? As a straight man, it’s repulsive to consider sexual attraction to another man, so it can be hard to understand, but that doesn’t mean other people aren’t wired differently and potentially experience the same repulsion when they consider “choosing” to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex.
History of left handed discrimination - An example of why acknowledging and teaching respect for LGBTQ people does not risk kids “catching gay”. In general, about 10% of humans are left hand dominant. In the past, left handed people in some cultures were considered to be evil, possessed, or deviant. Children would be struck on the hand if seen writing with their left hand. Obviously we’ve come to understand there is nothing wrong with being left handed and would consider those past beliefs to be barbaric. At the same time my awareness of the existence of left handed people in no way influenced my “decision” to be right handed. I’m right handed because that’s the way I am. Acknowledging that some people are left-handed can simply help me better understand them - and yes, our society is still harder on lefty’s because of so many things that are set up for right handed use (I’m not just talking about keeping them out of the infield on the baseball team). I believe the example equally applies to LGBTQ identity.
Acknowledging and recognizing LGBTQ people’s existence is not inherently sexual. Sexual orientation is about so much more than sexual activity. As I mentioned above, I remember my first crushes on girls as far back as pre-kindergarten. At that age, I had no idea what sex was, and yet, I was attracted to certain girls. Clearly, awareness of romantic attraction and relationships is broader than sexual activity. Another component of this - I’ve mentioned my wife multiple times here. At any mention of my wife, would anybody react with, “why are you sexualizing this conversation!?!” News alert, my wife and I have sex. But when mentioning my wife, the vast majority of people would never interpret the acknowledgment of our relationship as explicit sexual content. Why then, when an LGBTQ person mentions their partner or brings up an aspect of their life that reflects their sexual identity, is there any interpretation that the interaction/discussion is being sexualized?
Why Recall?
Ultimately, based on my experience with TVUSD school curriculum, which is compliant with the state mandated guidelines, class instruction is entirely appropriate for my kids and actually beneficial for their best educational outcomes. I know that if anything were to come up that I see as inappropriate, I have existing rights as a parent to weigh in. And in sad cases where an unfortunate violation of trust occurs, there are laws and administration set up to handle these one off situations. From my perspective and personal experience, the claim that inappropriate, sexualized, pornographic curriculum content is sanctioned at TVUSD public schools (or the state of California) is entirely false. The claim that teachers are seeking to indoctrinate or groom students with deviant ideology is false. I understand some people prefer the sensitive topics I write about above not be part of their child’s public school experience, which is why parents do have rights to opt their kids out of sex ed and request alternative assignments when they are uncomfortable with assigned materials. Unfortunately, I believe that some people, like Dr Komrosky, are deliberately exaggerating, or straight up fabricating ideas about what is being taught in our schools to create an atmosphere of fear with the aim of advancing their political objectives and imposing their world view on others, even if they personally believe their mission is righteous. And sadly, many other sincere people are believing these fabricated and exaggerated stories without any personal experience in the schools. I believe Dr Komrosky’s focus on these culture war issues is based on, at best, a misunderstanding of the purpose of these curriculum topics. They are deliberately represented in a mischaracterized way, creating unnecessary division in our community, and distracting from the role of board governance for the best educational outcomes for our kids.
Additional info:
Benefits of Comprehensive Sex Education
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1054139X20304560
Elizabeth Smart
